It begins with a simple principle.
People don’t value things that come easy.
So if you do come easy, should you be blaming them for not valuing you?
There are a lot of people sloshing around like abject failures and total losers not because they don’t have valuable skills and qualities, but because they give themselves away too easily.
Think of the archetype of the silent workhorse.
You don’t want to be that, unless you’re into masochism and being exploited and taken to the cleaners like the lowliest rube.
So how do you raise your value in practice?
Some people would say that you need boundaries, but that’s a limiting way to think of it. It can make you rigid, comfortable and conventional, which is a great price to pay.
The better perspective is to make people work for it. Appropriately and tastefully – not with affectation, rudeness and entitlement.
When people ask you for money, have them tell you what they’ll use it for, even if you’re prepared to fund them anyway.
When you get invited to meetings, negotiate a place and agenda that serve you before you make any commitments.
When you participate in family events, make sure everybody is contributing even if you naturally enjoy them and they work out anyway.
If you’re always available, always helpful, always friendly without any cost to the user, you end up devaluing yourself no matter what else you’re doing to level up your life.
Which brings up the biggest threat to your personal value: the treacherous device you likely carry in your pocket.
If you pick up the phone for every unsolicited call and answer the door for every unannounced visitor, you simply have no self-respect.
And you’re signaling it to the world, loud and clear.
When you allow all sorts of notifications to go off randomly on your dumbphone, you’re doing something much worse than allowing random strangers in your home – your letting them directly into your mind.
People who don’t value their time, the most precious commodity, don’t value themselves. Simple as that.
This is why one of the simplest ways to raise your value is to limit access to your time.
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