Pity, Empathy or Sympathy – Which Is Right for You?

When you have realized that you are not your emotions, when you have ceased identifying with them, your mind’s eye, your directed attention becomes like a laser-sharp weapon.

Any emotion you recognize as noxious dissolves under your gaze.



Because when you no longer identify, you no longer cling or avert. Which means that you no longer feed it your energy. Your emotion no longer defines you, it is separate from you. Which it is.

When you don’t cling to the emotion, which is fleeting, the emotion passes away without your attentive energy to feed on.

(The energy of your unattached attention is different, and emotions cannot suck on it for sustenance.)

Modern humans are pitiful creatures – physically weak and emotionally fragile. Some days I don’t feel like going out to the bar or the café because of the pitiful caricatures of a human being that I will see there. But I like people too much not to go out.

Modern society has indoctrinated you that you must have empathy for people and even pity them. Otherwise you’re evil and inhumane and a terrible human being.

Ignorance and fragility feed each other like a reverse Ouroboros. The people trying to guilt you into being weak and ignorant like them… It’s probably best that you keep away. Ignorance and weakness are insidiously contagious. They can rub off on you all too easily.

Why ignorance and weakness? Because these social crusaders are usually ignorant of the consequences, and ignorant because of their fear and avoidance of coming to terms with their own feelings and insecurities. They want to fix the world, lest they have to fix themselves. They keep busy telling you how to feel and behave so they don’t have too much time left to scrutinize their own feelings and actions. (Yes, FJs, I’m absolutely talking about you, but not only you.)

Empathy is associated with the Extroverted Feeling function. Because it’s literally about how other people feel. (Keep your shirt on, though – empathy and Fe are NOT the same thing.)

When I’m being empathetic with you, I feel the way you feel because you feel that way. It’s not a coincidental alignment. To empathize with others is to put your feelings in synchronicity with theirs, literally to feel what they feel.

The culture tells you to be empathetic, especially with people who aren’t doing terribly well, but is that really a good thing? Is it the ethical thing to do?